Rough Beginning

Bryan and I started a "responsibilities and consequences" program with the kids yesterday. We have been designing it for a while (if you know us at all, this isn't a surprise) and I even asked one of my friends who has done something similar for her ideas. We finally came up with something we feel good about. I made a chart in my scrapbooking program and had it blown up at Costco, made some color coded marble magnets, bought some tin, and Bryan made a frame and painted it. Sunday night at family council we explained how it would work and the kids were ecstatic. Here's the deal:

On the chart it has all their responsibilities (i.e. chores). If they do their morning chores without being nagged, they get 4 tokens to put in their box. If Ethan practices the piano he can earn up to 10 tokens, depending on how well he does it and if he practices without a fight. If homework is done (or if Courtney studies her letters) they get another 4 tokens. If they do their night time chores they get 4 tokens. If they do their family chores (trash, clean up, set table) they get another 4 token...etc. There are other ways they can earn tokens, such as reading for a 1/2 hour, making good choices, etc. That is up to the parents discretion.

But...if they want to watch TV, they have to give up 10 tokens for 1/2 hour. If they want to play on the computer it's 10 tokens for 1/2 hour. They can play with a friend for an hour for free, but after that it costs 10 tokens for 2 hours (this is currently being negotiated by Ethan who doesn't think it's fair). They can also save their tokens and earn privileges like going mini-golfing, playing lazer tag, eating out with parents, etc. Or, if they save for a long time and get 300 tokens, we given them $10.

But...if they fight, toot, pick nose, suck thumb (after a warning), tattle, tease, or make bad choices, they have tokens taken away.

So it's a privileges and consequences program. The kids love getting their tokens and Ethan has really gotten the hang of earning them. But the first day was a doozie!

Ethan woke up with tokens already because they did their evening chores Sunday night and got some. Then he did his morning chores but he fussed during piano practice and only got 5 tokens, which was way below what he expected. Then Courtney wanted to watch TV but she didn't have enough tokens. That wasn't a pleasant surprise for her. She finally did her morning chores and was able to get her 1/2 hour but threw a fit when I turned off the TV. But all in all they had a good day.

There are some growing pains and this system makes me really have to focus on serving the kids. I was doing that before, but for Courtney to earn extra tokens for reading...I have to do the reading with her. And for her to earn her homework tokens...I need to help her do her learning box. But it's been good. Ethan has been giving away his tokens to Courtney because she doesn't earn them as fast as he does. She loves this but I hope that she doesn't take advantage of his generosity.

Last night we painted our token boxes. Ethan and Courtney have their own wooden box to keep their tokens in. They painted them while I painted the box that is the "bank." It was a fun night and everyone did a great job painting!

This morning went a lot better than yesterday. Ethan didn't bat an eye at practicing and did an awesome job. Courtney didn't even ask to watch TV and she did her learning box for preschool without fuss. The morning chores were completed without nagging and the kitchen was even cleaned up after breakfast. So I think it will work. We are going to tweak some things but I'm pretty excited about it!