How to torment an 8 year old.

How to Torment an 8 Year Old
by Bryan Pack

A few months ago I bought 2 HUGE boxes of microwave popcorn at Costco.  I put them in the pantry and it wasn't too long afterward that Courtney found them.  She began popping one for her and one for Ethan...every day!  Well, the first box of popcorn didn't last very long and she was starting in on the second box when Bryan decided he needed to do something about it.

One night, he took out about 10 packages of the popcorn and hid them in the cupboard above our fridge.  When the box ran out we told Courtney that we weren't going to buy any more because it was being eaten way too fast.  She was upset but we bought air pop popcorn and she was fine.  Until....empty popcorn bags started showing up on the counter in the mornings about once a week.

It drove her nuts because she couldn't figure out where they were coming from. She would climb up on the counters and go through all the cupboards but never could find the bags of popcorn.  The other night Bryan wanted popcorn so he got a bag from his hidden stash.  When he was finished popping it, I asked him to clean up the bag.  He smiled and told me that he leaves it on the counter to torment Courtney.  I knew there was going to be trouble in the morning.

The next morning Courtney came out for breakfast and saw the empty popcorn bag.  She lost it.  She started crying saying that it wasn't fair that she wasn't getting any popcorn and that Dad was leaving the evidence for her to find.  She got up on a stool determined to find the hidden stash of popcorn.

When Bryan showed up I told him that she was really upset so, when she wasn't looking, he snuck a bag of popcorn into the pantry. He turned to Courtney and told her to look really well in the pantry.  She did and found the bag of popcorn.  She turned to Bryan and, in all seriousness, told him that the bag she found was for her and Ethan and that Dad wasn't to eat any of it because it was theirs.

It's still sitting there and I'm not going to touch it.

So that is how to torment an 8 year old, by Bryan Pack.